So let's face it, being a parent is hard stuff. Even worse, there's no rule book or guidelines to help you through the day to day aggravation of being a parent. Truth is, everyone is struggling to find the right and wrong ways of teaching, guiding, loving, and disciplining their kids, and you know what? There is still not one universal way to do everything right, harsh huh?
Well I recently got a well-deserved (metaphorical) slap to the face when I realized some of my mistakes in parenting. Here's the back-story: When I had my daughter, I was a great mom! I spent all day with her, loving her, teaching her, exploring with her, taking A TON of photos of every single thing she did -literally- some days I would have taken 30-40 pictures of her just sitting there! ha! Anyway, she grew and learned everything very quickly. Nothing could get in her way or stop her.
Then, I got pregnant with our second child at 9 months. Things were still going well-I was more tired and it was winter time so we didn't get out of the house as often but we were still happy and learning as fast as ever. Then, our dear sweet little boy entered our lives when Little Miss was a year and half old which was great! She loved her new brother more than anything in the world and wanted to help in every single way possible.
However, it just so happened that this little man hated sleep and basically wanted to cry 24/7 for the first few months. Due to this, I got barely any sleep, would wake up cranky, not want to go out or do anything and honestly didn't make a whole lot of time for my daughter anymore. Everything she did wrong by accident or just simply because she's a kid, became an annoyance. I still loved her more than anything and would try to teach her everyday but it slowly got harder and harder to be happy everyday. Discipline was the worst. I didn't know how to do it anymore. It was hard to follow through due to the ever clinging baby in my arms. Zach's classes got harder which meant less help around the house (don't get me wrong, Zach is a HUGE help all the time when he can, but I want him to focus on school which means more studying and homework which was hard for me to handle) and in the end I started yelling at my baby girl.
In no way is any of this my kids or husband's fault. It's entirely mine. I would just start to get frustrated and antsy when I was more tired. I would feel rushed and the weight of motherhood would come crashing down on me from nowhere, unexpectedly. One day I would love nothing more than playing with my kids all day and the next I would get annoyed anytime they asked me to read another book.
It's hard to admit, but it's true. I've gone from great mom, to good mom and I really desire to become a great mom again for my kids. They deserve that and they deserve the best of me.
So to start that off and become a better mom, I have decided to take the Orange Rhino Challenge and try to slowly make changes in my life by stopping the yelling. This women has really inspired me and I suggest any mom who may be struggling like me, to visit her website and read about the challenge too. I am excited to start this new chapter and hopefully become a great mom once again.
My goal is also a full year without yelling at my kids, but I think I will take it week by week so I have more focus. Hopefully my kids will love seeing the silly side of me emerge again as I use some of her tactful alternatives to yelling! They really are great.
So anyway, this is my public announcement so it becomes something real and a tangible goal for me that I can't back away from! I'll be posting every week (if I remember) about my progress in the challenge! :)
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