26 things I've done since being married before 23

I recently saw this article "23 things to do instead of getting engaged at 23" circulating Facebook and many times I read these and think "you know a lot of those things do sound like fun! Maybe I should do them sometime." but as I read through this article I realized that it's just another superficial teenage article. She lists a lot reasons why she assumes people get married too young stating that most of them use marriage as a cover because they are scared or inexperienced or just because they want someone to cuddle with. She also says that if it's true love, then what's the rush? Why not find yourself first by dating, traveling, taking risks, getting an education, choosing a career, having sex, etc? Then she states "it’s insane that I have already experienced more of the world in the last 22 years than my married peers will ever experience in their life." 

Now I know this is one girl's opinion, but I also know that this opinion is found in a lot of other people as well, and most people who talk to me and ask about my life would think the same thing, but it just isn't true. So I wanted to state my opinion on this topic as well.

Hi, my name is Janessa, I am 20 years old, I have been married for two and half years to a great guy and we have two of the most amazing kids you will ever meet. In my 20 years of life I have experienced dating, risks, getting a higher education, choosing a career, marriage, being pregnant, giving birth, loving three people more than I ever thought possible, hard work, trials, and so much more. I owe a lot of that experience to the last two and a half years of my life.

If I were still single, I know exactly where I would be in life. I would be out at College, dating all kinds of stupid guys, partying all night, taking tests, hanging out with friends, eating junk and working at a dead end job until I finished school. Maybe I would have traveled and had more worldly experiences, but honestly, I don't want that. 

I'm not saying that everyone should go out and get married young because it's cool or hip or worked for me. NO! People should get married when they want, whether that's at 18 like me or 23 or 35 or older or whatever! You should get married when YOU are ready, and only you can be the judge of when that should be. The world shouldn't have a say in whether you are ready or not.

I'm writing this because it really irks me when people hear how young I married and they say things like, "well hopefully that'll work out," or "you know most young marriages end in divorce right?" or "were you really sure? I mean you can't really be sure that young, right?" Well I was sure, and this is one marriage that won't end up as just another ugly statistic. I got married because I was ready. I knew it would be hard, I knew it would take sacrifice, work, compromise, love, devotion and it would mean the end of my single life of partying and dating forever, but you know what? I wanted that. Every single drop of it; even right on down to the tiny budget and small apartment, because for me, I got so much more out of these things than I know I would have in single life.

While there are countless numbers of reasons why I got married when I did, I think I'll just explain the most important one.

1. I fell in love.

I know that sounds like the same old, boring reason that everyone gives when asked why they get married, but have you ever asked them to expound on that reason? There's a lot more to it than you may think. When someone gives this answer, the usual reply is rolled eyes and people say something along the lines of "Well duh! But do you really want to get married so young? Why not wait if it's really true love?"

Yes, I believe our love is eternal and yes, I'm sure it could have waited 2-10 years, but then I ask you in return, why should I wait? If we both feel it's right and we aren't going to date anyone else, then why wait? Just so we aren't a statistic? No, I don't live by the world's standards. I make my own happiness.

In a world where the family and marriage are being trashed everyday and people say that your career should come first, or you should "find yourself" first because you're going to change ten years down the road, I have turned into a statistic. I believe in love, marriage and family. I believe that if you really love someone and are ready to get married, then you should. Everything else will fall into place when you work hard together. 

My husband and I are both going to school to work towards a higher education and a career. We both change everyday and yes, when we are 28 I'm positive we'll have changed a ton from when we were 18, but we will have changed together. We will have learned how to love each other for the good, the bad and the ugly. I love my husband for his strength and his weaknesses, and he loves me for mine. 

So yeah, I didn't ever do everything on this girl's list of things to do before marriage, but I've done SO MUCH MORE! 

Here are 26 things I've done since being married before 23, and trust me, there are about a million more.

1. Learned to love someone unconditionally and learned the true meaning behind "Love at first sight" when both my kids were born.
2. Taught someone to roll over, crawl, walk, talk, etc.
3. Made cakes and cookies and other yummy desserts with tiny helping hands
4. Watched every Disney movie ever made (almost)
5. Gone down every slide on every playground around town
6. Made a tiny apron
7. Watched every episode of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and can quote just about every one!
8. Memorized tons of children's books
9. Gone on family walks in the cool summer while holding hands with my eternal companion
10. Got sealed in the temple to my family forever
11. Acquired bat hearing-seriously, just ask any mom :)
12. Used my imagination every day
13. Had a sleepover in our living room with my hubby which included all the works: blankets, movies, junk food, etc.
14. Traveled in a car while singing along to Disney songs
15. Found laughter and joy even in the worst of times
16. Felt little arms wrap around my neck while I hear a sweet "I love you Mommy" in my ear
17. Gained a second family who loves me just as much as my first one
18. Learned to budget and spend wisely
19. Danced to Christmas music while putting up a Christmas tree with my family
20. Went sledding and just played in the snow
21. Colored countless pictures and helped scribble even more
22.  Ran around outside in the warm sunlight without a care in the world as little feet chased me
23. Healed boo-boos with my kisses
24. Woke up every morning to a kiss and an I love you
25. Have heard the most beautiful sound in the world-a baby's laugh- and seen the most precious thing in the world-a baby's smile- a million times over.
26. Loved every second of my life, even the very worst seconds, because every second is filled with love.

I have so much more than worldly experiences and I have learned and grown so much as a wife and mother than I ever could have alone. So while young marriage is not for everyone, it is for me, and the world will never be able to tell me otherwise.